I thought of you today, but that is nothing new. I thought about you yesterday and the days before that too. I think of you in silence,I often speak your name. All I have is memories and a picture in a frame. Your memory is a keepsake, in which I'll never part. God has you in his keeping, I have you in my heart.
Time~
Where does the time go? It just doesn't seem right that it's been four months since my Mom has been gone. It seems like yesterday when I was talking to her on the phone about the kids and telling her stories about them.....and now she isn't here to hear the stories. She isn't here to know that Devin is enjoying being the manager of Tennis and to hear how well Ty is doing in school and to know that Emmie is going to be playing her first t-ball game on Saturday. I would have loved telling her all about her first game and I know she would have loved hearing all about it.
I think a piece of me went with my Mom on that fateful day. I try so hard to be myself and sometimes I do a pretty good job at it and other times I have to just step away and be by myself. It's hard to act like every things okay when down deep it's not. When you just can't really get over the fact that she isn't here. She isn't here! That's just it! I want her here and she can't be here. I do have to remind myself all the time that she isn't here. When will it sink in that she is gone?
2 comments:
Lori,
The title of your post says a lot. Time. I know they say time heals all wounds, but I also know that, right now, that doesn't seem possible.
You are getting through this one day at a time - that's all you can do. I hope one day the pain won't feel so raw for you. I know that the grief can be all-consuming. Hang in there and like I've said before, there are a ton of people that you can lean on and you don't even have to put on an act!! :)
You will have to send pictures of Emmie at her t-ball game. She will be the cutest one out there!!!
I'm glad that Devin and Ty are doing so well. You are an awesome mom with amazing kids.
Lori, I saw this little quote or poem the other day and thought about posting it too! How funny, huh? I thought of nothing but Mom that whole entire day that I read that...not that different from any other day really, right? I know for me it seems like it gets worse every day. I try to be normal too, for the kids, and I hope that they don't notice it too much. I hope one day they understand it better. Time is very right, but it's going to take a long time...maybe even forever for us. She was that good and left that big of an impression on our lives. It still doesn't make it any easier and still doesn't make sense why. I hope Time will tell...
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