The Best Thing in Life.........

"The Best thing in Life is when your family becomes your friend;
and your friends become your family!"


I remember hearing that and I instantly thought of my Mom. She was still in the hospice house at that time and I was getting ready at her house one morning listening to Good Morning America, her favorite news in the morning. She enjoyed that show and we would talk about Robin, Diane and what was going on. I'm glad we got to use that saying in her program, I know she would have liked that. She had so many people in her life that were not only her family, but were also her friends and some of her friends that turned into family and that we now think of in that way. She just had a way about her that made you want to be her friend.

Like all of you.......You are not only my family, but you are also my friend! It means a lot to me that I have you all in my life. Even though I'm far away......these last few months I have felt like I have you all around me, supporting me from a distance! That means everything to me. I know it's just not me going through this alone, it's all of you also. Thanks for everything! I know that I can never truly express my thanks for all that you have done, but I'm truly blessed to have each and every one of you in my life! Thanks for taking time out of your day to read my blog, it means a lot to me that you are interested in how I'm feeling and what I'm going through.

Scrapbook Album~

Wednesday is here again! Boy does the week go by fast. I came down here with something to write about and then thought no....that just isn't what I want. That seems to happen to me a lot when talking about my Mom. I just don't think I ever really do her justice on my stories or on my thoughts. She just seems to fill up my days and nights and when I come down here to write about it I seem to have a mental block! I can't really put down all the feelings that are going on in my head. They just get all jumbled up and I feel like I'm jumping from one thing to another.

I don't know if I told you that I'm working on a scrapbook of her and I have only got a few pages done, well about 4 double pages. I want the kids to have something to look at when they get older. I'm so scared that they will forget all about her and not remember what a great Grandma she was. I also would want their kids to know as much about her also. It's just so sad that she isn't here, I always thought that she would be here (you see here I go, jumping from one thing to another!). Anyways......last week I was working on one and it was just pictures of her and I. Well, first of all I don't have very many of those, so I treasure all of those, but while looking at them and trying to decide which ones to put on the scrapbook, I kind of had a real moment! I guess you could say a bad moment. I just still can't get a grasp on it that she is gone, I know I say that a lot! But it's true. She was such a part of my life and it still feels like she should be here. I still want to pick up the phone and call her. So anyways......I did end up finishing the page and I thought it turned out good. Well, as good as I can make it. I ended up using the Daughters Promise on the page. I love that poem and have wanted to use it in something since I found it. I'm still wishing that I had more pictures of her! I just want to kick myself for not taking more!!! I have a pile that I'm going through and I'm going to get this scrapbook done by the one year mark! I have too! If I don't it will just go on with the other things that I have not finished. I'm doing this not only for her, but for me and the kids! We all need it to look at when we are missing her. I will have the kids write a little letter in it and then they will remember when they get older what they were feeling this year.

I just have to add a little thing that Emmie said a few days ago. She had wanted to sleep on the couch for some reason and I said sure. After getting her all ready she said, "This makes me feel like I'm at Grandmas house." I said, "Why?" She says, "I'm so comfortable!" It made me smile.

Emmie's First T-ball game~

Emmie had her first t-ball game today and boy was I proud of her! She did a great job. On her first hit she hit it to pitcher/short stop and the catcher ran with her all the way to first base. It was a little bit crazy. All the people on the bleachers said....well, she is pretty cute, so I can see why he would want to follow her. Her second time up to bat and the pitcher decided to run her down instead of throwing the ball to the first baseman. When he tagged her , he pushed her down....Emmie got right back up and was safe! No tears....she is pretty tough! I guess that's what happens when you have two brothers! Here we are before the game.

Here she is getting ready to hit that ball! Getting ready to touch home plate!

Had to get a picture of her really, super, awesome, cool number! Now who had this number???? Oh yeah, that was me!!! LOL! We asked if we could have it and he said yes! I was more excited then Emmie was!

Looks like a baseball family to me! I so love watching my kids do the things they love. I enjoy every minute that I'm out at the ball park. I love cheering my kids on and I do get excited and scream a little bit, but I'm not so sure if anyone around me can hear me!! :)

Lilac tree

I just wanted to show you a few pictures of my Lilac tree. It's doing so good this year. The flowers are blooming and it has to be the best year for it. Maybe it's getting a little extra care from a special someone! :)

Ty's first game~

Ty had his first game tonight. He has a young team this year....so I think it's going to be a long year or maybe a learning year. He was a little nervous and I think that he could have played a little bit better then he did, but I know the feeling and the team that they played was pretty good, but they only lost by 6 runs. So, I guess that says something.

I even got him to smile for his fist game of the season picture! Now that's a first!

They did put him into pitch later in the game! Oh boy, was I a little nervous then! This is his very first time on the mound! He just decided this year that he wanted to try it out. So, we thought he could give it a try, not thinking that they would put him in on the very first game of the season!!! But the first batter comes up and he strikes him out!!! YEAH!!! I'm cheering up a storm!! Dads over there taking the pictures, I'm wishing we had a better camera with a little better zoom on it right about now! He did really good and I did better then I thought I would have.

Time~

I thought of you today, but that is nothing new. I thought about you yesterday and the days before that too. I think of you in silence,I often speak your name. All I have is memories and a picture in a frame. Your memory is a keepsake, in which I'll never part. God has you in his keeping, I have you in my heart.

Time~

Where does the time go? It just doesn't seem right that it's been four months since my Mom has been gone. It seems like yesterday when I was talking to her on the phone about the kids and telling her stories about them.....and now she isn't here to hear the stories. She isn't here to know that Devin is enjoying being the manager of Tennis and to hear how well Ty is doing in school and to know that Emmie is going to be playing her first t-ball game on Saturday. I would have loved telling her all about her first game and I know she would have loved hearing all about it.

I think a piece of me went with my Mom on that fateful day. I try so hard to be myself and sometimes I do a pretty good job at it and other times I have to just step away and be by myself. It's hard to act like every things okay when down deep it's not. When you just can't really get over the fact that she isn't here. She isn't here! That's just it! I want her here and she can't be here. I do have to remind myself all the time that she isn't here. When will it sink in that she is gone?

Lilacs~

My Lilacs are starting to bloom and all I can think about when I look at them is my Mom. She always loved them and always looked forward to them blooming. When we were first looking at this house and I saw the lilac tree in the yard I was so excited. I couldn't wait for the first bloom of my lilac tree. I would tell my Mom all about them and how excited I was for it to bloom. It was just another thing in common that we had...our love for Lilacs. I wish that I could tell her today that they are getting ready to bloom, that I can just get a hint of their fragrance.

Sorry about the shortness of the post today.

Another Update~

I have been feeling a lot better today. I didn't even take any pain meds this am, so that's good. I only seem to have pain when I get up and when I try to sit back down. I have a little when walking around, but that is what they want me to do is walk, so I don't get blood clots or pneumonia. My tummy is still a little bit blotted, but it seems to be coming down every day. I just hate looking at it! It's all orange! YUCK!!!

The thing that really sucks is that I can't take a shower until tomorrow!!! I feel so yucky! I do think that today I might do my hair and put on some makeup! Maybe that will help me feel a little bit better. Tim will be going into work today and that means I'll have to take Ty to practice, so I really don't want to look like a crazy lady!

Surgery Update~

It's done!!!! I'm so glad that the surgery is over. Now I don't have to stress about it any longer.

I'm still pretty sore...but not as bad as I thought I would be, but I'm taking my pain pills every four hours! So, that might be helping some. My throat is a little sore also from them putting the tube down it! It was kinda funny that I don't even remember falling asleep, which I think is a good thing. I was in the operating room one minute and the next minute I hear them talking and I'm in the recovery unit. I had a lot of pain on my right side and the nurse did pump in some pain meds at that time and it seemed to help out a little, but I really just wanted to go home and relax.

The doctor came in and said that I did have multiple stones. I didn't have those when they did the Hida Scan on me. I don't know if they just came on, or if they just didn't see them when they did that test. So, I guess it was a good thing that I got it removed. I was second guessing this whole thing a few days ago. I did get sick one time while in the recovery room, hopefully that will be it! It hurts to cough and I don't want to get sick.

Tim and the kids have been really good at helping out. It is hard to have them taking care of me, I'm just not used to laying around and watching TV.

I'll keep you all posted on how I'm feeling if you are interested!