Scrapbook Album~

Wednesday is here again! Boy does the week go by fast. I came down here with something to write about and then thought no....that just isn't what I want. That seems to happen to me a lot when talking about my Mom. I just don't think I ever really do her justice on my stories or on my thoughts. She just seems to fill up my days and nights and when I come down here to write about it I seem to have a mental block! I can't really put down all the feelings that are going on in my head. They just get all jumbled up and I feel like I'm jumping from one thing to another.

I don't know if I told you that I'm working on a scrapbook of her and I have only got a few pages done, well about 4 double pages. I want the kids to have something to look at when they get older. I'm so scared that they will forget all about her and not remember what a great Grandma she was. I also would want their kids to know as much about her also. It's just so sad that she isn't here, I always thought that she would be here (you see here I go, jumping from one thing to another!). Anyways......last week I was working on one and it was just pictures of her and I. Well, first of all I don't have very many of those, so I treasure all of those, but while looking at them and trying to decide which ones to put on the scrapbook, I kind of had a real moment! I guess you could say a bad moment. I just still can't get a grasp on it that she is gone, I know I say that a lot! But it's true. She was such a part of my life and it still feels like she should be here. I still want to pick up the phone and call her. So anyways......I did end up finishing the page and I thought it turned out good. Well, as good as I can make it. I ended up using the Daughters Promise on the page. I love that poem and have wanted to use it in something since I found it. I'm still wishing that I had more pictures of her! I just want to kick myself for not taking more!!! I have a pile that I'm going through and I'm going to get this scrapbook done by the one year mark! I have too! If I don't it will just go on with the other things that I have not finished. I'm doing this not only for her, but for me and the kids! We all need it to look at when we are missing her. I will have the kids write a little letter in it and then they will remember when they get older what they were feeling this year.

I just have to add a little thing that Emmie said a few days ago. She had wanted to sleep on the couch for some reason and I said sure. After getting her all ready she said, "This makes me feel like I'm at Grandmas house." I said, "Why?" She says, "I'm so comfortable!" It made me smile.