Our Journey~

I have been thinking about this post for awhile now and I'm hoping that it will come out the way I want it to.  I might complain a little and I might be feeling a little bit sorry for myself....so if you don't want to hear all that then I guess you better stop reading this now!  :) 

We started this journey a long time ago, in the year 2000.  I thought that it was only going to be a short journey.  I thought it was going to be a two year journey away from home and then we were going to be back, but that is not the case.  We have now been gone over ten years!  TEN long years!  We have added a child to the mix, after taking a baby with us and a young child.  No one got to see Devin grow into a young man, no one got to see Ty grow into a young boy, no one got to see Emmie grow into a young little girl.  None of that.  Everyone missed all of their firsts....everything about them was missed.  Only one person got to hold Emmie the day she was born, other then Tim and I and the boys, my Mom.  That isn't how it is supposed to be.  We should have had a room full of people waiting to hold my baby girl, but we didn't.  But I was glad my Mom was there, but I wished that we were home for that wonderful event in our life. 

Now lets get to what we are missing out on by not being home!  We missed out on some births that we would have wanted to be home for!  We would have loved to hold the newborns of many babies in the family.  We miss out on all the birthday parties, my kids wouldn't know what to do if they got to go to as many birthday parties that our family has.  They would love it!  We miss out on all the family holiday stuff, granted they may be a bit hectic, but I would love it.  For us they are a little bit boring.  I try and think of things to do with the kids, but I'm so busy cooking and cleaning, by the time I get done with that I'm ready to sit down. Doing the whole Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner by yourself isn't so much fun, yes Tim will help out, but I do end up doing most of it.  What I really miss is the day to day family things.  I would love to go to baseball/softball games or any other sport that our family members our playing.  We love to do those simple kinds of things.  Just being around family is what we, well what I like.  I miss just going out to lunch and having a girls night.  I would love to do that!  I Don't get that here.  I don't do anything that doesn't involve the kids or Tim.  I know some of it might be my fault, but I have been so wrapped up in their world for so long that it's hard to get out of it and be in my own world, plus I really don't have any one to do anything with!  Again my fault! 

We have been gone so long that sometimes I feel like we are kind of the black sheep of the families!  We don't get many calls anymore and when we are home we don't know all the inside jokes or the happenings.  I kind of feel like I'm on the outside of a circle looking in and now I feel like it's only going to get worse with my Mom being gone.  I feel like I'm lost.

I'm not really sure when our journey will take us back home, I'm hoping it will be soon.  It has taken a lot out of me and I don't feel like I'm the same person that left that summer day.