First of all I just want to say that every day is just getting harder! It's like I'm living last year over again in my mind. I remember what I was doing on every single day. Was I home? Was I here freaking out? What was I doing? Well, I'm living it here over again!
I'm sure you all know that I'm a little bit wacky!! This might tell you a little about how wacky I'm! So, a few weeks ago I got this crazy idea in my head, I'm not really sure where it came from, but my Mom had made all of us girls these memory boxes a few years ago for Christmas. And I thought maybe just maybe she put a secret letter in it!!! YEAH!! How fun would that be! So, I hurried to my room and took it off the wall and looked for my secret letter....I just knew she did it! Because I knew she knew she was sick, so why wouldn't she give us all a secret letter? I looked for an opening and I looked for a way to get my secret letter. I looked for about five minutes and come to find out.....no secret letter!!!! No secret letter for me!
2 comments:
You are not crazy. I would have done the same thing.
I wish I had some words of advice on how to make each day a little better. I have none.
I guess you just have to hold on to every single memory you have of your mom and focus on the good ones.
I wish you didn't feel so much guilt for not living here. Your mom knew how much you loved her.
I am sitting at my desk right now, while my mom is starting her first day of chemo. I can't function. I can't think. Luckily, my co-workers know what's going on and are being extra nice. I can't imagine being where you are and feeling that sadness. What I feel right now is hard enough. If I could take away any of the pain that you are feeling, I would. I am babbling, but I hope you know that I think about you every day.
I also have been thinking of your Mom today Kelly! I'm sure it's so nice to have so many people that care so much about you and your mom right now. You are so very lucky to have such wonderful co-workers!
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