Those she left behind~

My Dad~

Who I know is missing her so much. His life has been turned upside down. Nothing is the same for him. His daily routine has changed, from the moment he wakes up to the moment he goes to bed, nothing is the way it was, or the way it is supposed to be. Seeing him with her while she was in the hospital made me see him in a new light. He was so good to her, so sweet with her. I'm sure it was so hard for him to have to deal with all that and now to deal with her gone and to deal with the every day life without her.


Her Mother, my Grandma~

What Mother thinks that in her lifetime she will have to say goodbye to two of her daughters? I'm sure for Grandma that thought never came to her mind. Both of them meant so much to her. I know how close my Mom was to my Grandma and I know that it must have broke my Moms heart to have to leave her. I know that she must have been thinking...who is going to take over for me? Who is going to take her out on Fridays? I know that for Grandma she must be hurting so much, missing her so much.

Barbara, her sister~

They were not only sisters, they were really great friends, Best friends! They did a lot together. What didn't they do together! They worked together, vacationed together, shared many great times together. During the summer months they were either at each others house on each others porches enjoying the outside, doing what they enjoyed, having a few beer's, having dinner, enjoying each others company. That is what true friendship is. The greatest thing about their relationship is that my Mom left Barbara here for us. She is here when we need her. I'm so grateful for her and thankful that I know if I ever need anything, she is here for me and my family.

Her Grandkids~

Can I even begin to explain what these kids will miss out on? No, I don't think that I can. I know that each of them are dealing with this loss in their own way. It's hard to lose your Grandma and to lose her so fast. For my youngest two they didn't get the chance to tell her goodbye. They didn't see her when she was so sick and in the hospital, maybe that's good, I don't know. All I know is that they are all missing out. They are all missing out on one of the most thoughtful, loving, kind hearted and giving Grandmas. They were all so very lucky to have had her in their life, I just wish that they could have had her for many more years. She was always thinking of them. I know that it must of hurt her so to know that she was leaving them behind.

Her Daughters~ Lanette, Leah, Lyndsey and Me~

Now this is where it gets tricky! All of us girls are dealing with this in our own way. I'm dealing with my loss by blogging and trying to get by day to day. Is it working? No, not really, but I'm trying. I don't think that I will ever get over her being gone. I can't seem to get over the fact that the phone will not ring, that she won't make that Monday morning call. I still to this day walk into my house and look at the machine to see if there is a message from her when I have been out in the morning. She was the only one that would call me that early in the morning, I knew if it was blinking that it was her. I do have to tell you that I'm jealous of the fact that everyone else got to see her and sometimes I can only talk about our phone calls. I know that we got to talk about a lot and got to share somethings that maybe we wouldn't have shared by talking so much...but I think that I missed out. I really wish that I could have seen her more, had more memories of her, more memories of her with the kids. It just depresses me so much that I don't have that. I know that we were all lucky to have had her for as long as we did, but it just wasn't long enough for me. I know that my sisters miss her just as much as I do and what makes this harder for me is that I'm here and they are there.



Mom....you are missed more then you would have ever guessed~