Today I thought I would do something a little different. I always write about how I'm feeling...so today I thought I would write about what she was feeling and what she wanted to do....more or less her dream~
I'm sure you all know what she loved doing.....decorating. She could make something out of nothing. Now don't we all wish we had that talent. I look at my blank wall....yes I still have a blank wall in my house after living in it for over five years...and I know that she would have had that filled up in less then two days if this was her house. She could do anything. Yes, she sometimes may have put up a little too much, but she made it look good. No, we could never do that, but she could. She could look at something in a stack of things and know what would look good together, but me......that just doesn't happen. I look at it and I get nothing! That's why when I lived at home I would always call her up when it came time to do all that and I think she liked it. I think she enjoyed it that everyone needed her help and guidance in that area. It is hard being so far away and not having that...that is why my wall is still blank.....I didn't have her here to help me.
On to her dream. Her and I had talked about it in the last few years that she would like to have her own Antique shop. She loved going to them and she loved talking to the ladies that ran them. Grandma and Mom just looked forward to their Friday's were they would visit them and then on the the garage sales. Where of course Mom found everything good! The ladies that she met just loved her and Grandma. I went with them on a few Fridays when I was in town and it was fun to see her light up when she doing what she loved to do. She would also tell me about her projects that she was working on or her ideas. I loved hearing about them and I knew that if anyone could do it, she could have.
I wish that she could have made her dream come true, but if you think about it...in a way she did. She had her very own Antique shop in her house. It is her, it's just the way she wanted it. When I was home, after she passed away, I wanted to take a picture of everything. I was so scared that maybe something might change before I come back again and I don't want that. I want it to stay the same, just like she left it, the way she wanted it. Her stuff that she bought and thought about. She picked everything out and made it to her liking. It was her. It's all we have left, besides our memories. It's a place that we can go and remember her and know that this place is her....her home! Her Dream~
1 comment:
It's the same at her house Lori. I think about it a lot too. I see all the unfinished things that she wanted to work on and I am sad she never got to do them. Dad doesn't know what to do with them, but he also doesn't want to change them at all! It was HER house. But I do think you are right...she LOVED her house. Her home. She wanted to be home so badly, because she loved it. And who can blame her? She made it look so unique and it just felt like home. I love going there, because I feel like I stepped into Mom's world for a while. A world we could only dream of...and she made it real for herself, and for us too! I can't imagine trying to decorate my house without her there telling me what would look good where. I know for me it's nice to be so close to her still. I can't imagine how you do it, being so far away. It feels like you are a world away from her too I am sure. But always keep in mind that Mom thought about you everyday. She always had hope that you guys would come home someday and life would be so good!
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