The Question

The question was asked from Lyndsey's blog and she asked, " If you could talk to them, them meaning the person that you lost, what would you say to them?" Hmm, that question kind of took me by surprise. What would I say to my Mom? Like Lyndsey said in her blog we weren't the I love you kind of family, but knowing what I do now I still think that I would have told her that I loved her very much and that my life will never be the same without her. But after thinking about it a lot last night I know now what I would have told her.

I would have started it off by telling her that I'm sorry! I'm sorry for living so far away, even though she new that I hated every minute that I was away from every one. She new that this wasn't where I really wanted to be. I wanted to have my family home where we could be around our families. I'm sorry that she didn't get a chance to see her grandchildren grow up. I'm sorry that we missed all the family dinners and holidays. I'm sorry that she only got to see us every other summer. I'm so sorry that I wasn't there for you when you needed me the most!

All she ever wanted was for us to be home. That would have made her so happy. I know that she really enjoyed it when we were all together, when we were all home! She loved doing things for the kids and would remember everything. They were never far from her mind, she would go to garage sales and buy things for them and send them just because, no reason. Just because she knew that they would enjoy it or that they liked it. She knew them inside and out. The kids would get so excited when they knew I was talking to her on the phone and would just sit there and bug me to talk. Did she know how much she meant to all of us? I wonder if she really knew that. Did she know that her not being her would turn our world upside down? Did she know that she is the one that made this family a family? I hope so.......I just hope she left this world knowing how important she was to so many people.

I would have told her how sorry I'm and how important she was to so many people. She was not only a Mother to me but also my friend.

I do remember when I got to the Ray Hickey House that first night and my Dad telling her........"Your girls are all here now." And she smiled!