Changes~

I have thought and thought about this post for many months. In my head I have had it down many times...but I have yet to post it. It's always different. I guess you are wondering why I have yet to post it. I guess I have so many emotions and I don't want to say the wrong thing or for it to come out the wrong way.

It's concerning my son, Devin. Today I had the thought in my head that later this week it will be one year since I have seen him.  One year! Oh my gosh.....that just blows my mind. I never in my wildest dreams thought that I would be away from him for that long.

I just wish that when all of  this went down last year that it could have been done in better way. I'm not sure that anyone really understands how much it hurt me. I felt like everyone was against me.  I have had one person that understood and said one sentence that made me go yes. That is what I'm feeling. Made me think that I wasn't just being silly about this whole thing.  Some people made me feel like I was a bad Mom. I know they didn't mean to make me feel that way, but by them saying that it was the best thing for my son to not be with me, they were in a sense saying that.  I felt like I had always done my very best for him. Yes, I may have worried over him more then I should have and done things for him more then I should have. But I know that if any of you had been in my shoes and had been through all the things that I have been through with him, then I think that some would have done just the same.

As I sit here today and go though things I think back and think maybe I should have done things differently. I love my son more then anything and I don't think that anyone really understands what this has done to me.  I also don't think they understand how it has hurt my relationship with my son.  If anyone really knows Devin then they can understand this. He barley calls me. I have to kind of force him to call me at least twice a week.  It also hurts Emmie and Ty's relationship with him. I just don't think anyone really thought things through when they made this decision.

I know that he now has a job and is doing good, and I would never take that away from him. I'm very happy for him and more proud of him then anyone.  Some days I see him in my mind sitting down, watching his movies the way he used to sit and laughing. It just makes me smile and also brings tears to my eyes at the same time.  I think about him every single day. I see him in people just walking down the street. I see him when I'm at the library checking out books. Wherever I'm at I see him.

Everyone always has ideas about how family's run and sometimes others may tell you how they run without ever really being a part of them. Without ever really understanding what really goes on. My family wasn't perfect....but it was a family. And ever since things changed last summer, I have changed. Things have changed. I feel like I'm not as big of a part of my family in Vancouver as I used to be.  Things are just different. I just miss the way things used to be. I just miss talking to my Mom and her telling me that things were going to be okay in her own way. I have come to the conclusion that I'm more like her then I thought I was.

I miss this guy! he means the world to me and I don't even think he knows it. Just hearing his voice makes my day. I do worry about him still, but I try so hard not to show it when I talk to him. I feel like I can't be the Mom that I used to be with him. I feel like everyone thinks I mothered him too much. But I wonder now if they understand a little... now that they have been taking care of him, why I did it.  Maybe they do...I'm not sure.  They don't really talk to me about it or Devin. I feel like if I ask about him, no one really wants to talk to me about him.  I might be wrong....I have been wrong before...once!  just kidding....had to get some of the seriousness out. But I have been just so confused this last year about so many things...that I just don't know where I stand.  

I just hope that I didn't make anyone mad...I never wanted to do that with this post.  I just have had so many thoughts about this for so long and I just needed to clear my head. All my kids mean so much to me and I would do anything for them.

Moving again~

Well, we are moving again.....but the good thing is its not to another state! Just down the road! Most likely one of our easiest moves.

We always said that we only wanted to stay in this house for a year, but we were all set to stay for another. Just didn't want to do the whole move thing again. Seems like that's all we have done in these last few years.

We will be making the move this week. The good thing is that we have been able to move a lot of stuff into the garage. We have taken 11 loads over. It's almost filled up the entire garage. We have way too much stuff! We will get the keys on Monday and should be able to get the big stuff over this week. I'm just hoping Tim will be able to get a friend to help. Ty and I aren't able to lift the real heavy stuff. It's not so much the lifting it's the going up the stairs and around the corners. I would much rather be at the other house doing the unpacking.

The good thing about moving is that it's in a neighborhood and on a quiet street. Makes it feel kind of normal. Like the whole world isn't watching you as you are unpacking your van after going shopping!  I hope that Ty and Emmie will find some kids in the neighborhood to play with. We will be trying to keep them in the same schools. I will just have to take and pick them up. That means waiting around in the morning for about an hour before I have to go to work and then waiting about an hour in the afternoon. Just makes my day a little bit longer. But we hate to take them out of the schools they are going to again!  

I also like the fact that I can change things around again.  Sometimes you just get tired of the way things are and just need a change. We will be getting a big change. The yard is also fenced in...makes it much easier with the dogs. 

I will try and get some pictures posted next week. It's not the best or the biggest house. But I guess it's a house. 

Mother's Day~

Tomorrow is Mothers Day.

Ever since my Mom has passed away it has felt different and this year is worse! For lots of reasons.

It's going to be hard for me to enjoy the day tomorrow because my heart is somewhere else. I wish I could be somewhere else. I feel like I need to be somewhere else. But I can't be there. But just because my body isn't there....doesn't mean my heart isn't.  It has been there for the past week. I can't sleep....as I know many people can't. I know how they are feeling. I have felt the same way. It's not a fun feeling. A feeling of helplessness.

So, tomorrow I will be thinking of one of the best mothers I know. A wonderful selfless Mother who has made my life so much better by just being in it. I love her like no other.

Big knot~

For the last few days me stomach has been in knots. I'm just at a loss on what to do. I went to bed on Friday night and very softly cried myself to sleep....well sort of. My mind was racing with all these thoughts. I have never been one to have confentrations with people and when I do...I just shut down and am unable to continue the conversation with out getting all emotional. That's just me. I wish I was different. My mind gets all crazy and I can't think. I end up not saying what I really want to say and then things are just left unsaid.

I want to tell my side of the story. But I feel like I have already lost the battle along time ago. My side just doesn't seem to matter to anyone. I feel like things have been getting worse as everyday goes by. I sit here and rethink and have everything worked out in my mind how I would say things....but will I actually say any of it?  Most likely not. I don't want to cause problems....but the more I sit on it...it just hurts me inside and I feel like I might just explode! And I'm sure that won't be good. 

Surgery update~

I thought I would update you and tell you how the surgery went.

It's day three and I'm feeling a little sore. Not real bad, but I can just feel it a little when I move around a lot. But I do have to say that I thought I would feel worse the I do. I have not taken any pain meds since yesterday morning. I might take some today...just to make sure.

I went in on Wednesday morning and I could not believe the room the put me in. Super nice and I had it all to myself. Not a little room divided by a curtain. Had a tv to watch and a bathroom. Wonder how much that's going to cost? Yikes! Anyways went through all the normal check in stuff. Got an IV put in....that kind of hurt. I had to go and get a wire put in my breast to mark where they were going to work at so I got to have a Xanax to relax me. Didn't really feel much different. Went to get the wire put in. It didn't really hurt. It's just so funny that my breast is always hanging out for all to see. But the wire was kind of big! Thin....but tall. They had to tape it down or else it would have poked me in the eye. They took another mammogram picture and I got to see what it looked like inside of me. It kind of looked like a little fish hook. They got it right where they needed it to be.

I was only back in my room for about twenty minutes when they said they were ready for me! Double yikes! Wasn't ready for this...but I guess it was now or never. So off I go. It's kind of strange to be wheeled down to the OR in the bed and see them all waiting for you. Me...waiting for me. The room was big! Bigger then I thought it was going to be. Lights everywhere. They start talking to me and put the oxygen mask on and before I know it I'm waking up in another room. It's just so crazy how that happens!

So, everything went good. I will find out the results maybe today or more likely on Monday. Worried? Sure am! But I think all will turn out good. My breast isn't looking real pretty right now. But that's okay.

Sorry if I'm giving a little to much information.  That's what I got right now.

Tim and the kids have been taking care of me and trying to do things for me. Today I'm on my own. Which is kinda nice to have a day to myself. Back to normal on Monday.

I know that it's been a super long time since I have done anything with this blog! No excuses! All I can say is I'm sorry. I had plans to write at least once a week...but something always seems to come up or maybe it's because my life has been kind of blah lately. See....I was making excuses!

As it turns out some things have been going on these past few weeks.  I had a ultrasound on my right breast in December and the again in March. In March they thought that it needed a closer look. The next day I went in for a biopsy.

Now that was an experience.  I do have to say that it didn't hurt. I mean the first shot to numb it wasn't bad. But it was just the whole experience of having to watch them doing it. I mean it just an in your face kind of procedure and when they are actually getting the sample and you hear the little gun go off as they get it is kind of startling at first. But after a few times you get used to it. I walked out with no pain and went to the mall shopping an hour later.

Now the waiting began. Got the call a few days later all was good. No cancer! Yay!

Two weeks pass and I get a voice mail from my doctor.....no not the nurse..... but  my actual .  doctor. She would like to chat with me about my ultrasound and biopsy.

Hmmmm......what would she like to chat with me about? To me that doesn't sound good when you get a call from the doctor!

So, yes I start to panic a little bit. Knowing I can't make the call until I get home. Even though it's a short ride home from work....it sure felt like a very long drive!

I make the call.  She gets right on and says that she has looked over my report and did not like the wording on it, she then sent it over to the surgeon and they would like to see me! Yikes! I mean double yikes!! Can I go on Thursday? No....I work. But Monday....I can go on Monday

Off to the surgeon we go. I hear that he is very good and very nice....but of course when we get there he is in surgery.  But we see his PA and she is super nice and explains everything to us. Tim asks lots of questions, which is good, because I'm sure I would not have asked that many. I needed him with me.  We talk about the chances of this being benign and my chances are huge! I only have like a one percent of this being something bad. But if it is the we are catching this so early that it would be good.  

My surgery is on Wednesday. Should only take about 45 minutes. I'm not real fond of being put under. But at least it's for a really short period of time.  I would be lying if I told you I wasn't worried. You all know me....and know that I can tell you and also put on a pretty good front. But inside I'm FREAKING out! All the what ifs! What if.....! I won't even begin to tell you what I'm thinking! Scary thoughts! 

I will let you know how it goes! Keep your fingers crossed for me.

~Lori

Zoo Trip~

 We did our first trip to the zoo!  It was a little Zoo...but a fun Zoo!  We all had fun and it wasn't a really warm day...it was just right!

Emmie is looking at the penguins in this first picture.  They had them all named.  We didn't stick around too long here...it was kind of smelly!  But they sure are cute!  We made it through the zoo in a little over an hour.  nothing like the Portland Zoo.  We are looking forward to heading to the zoo over in Omaha.  I hear that its very big and nice!  Maybe this spring when the weather is a little warmer...but not real warm!  Not like in the summer months!

Tim and Ty by the eagle

Emmie sitting on a caterpillar!

Our cute little penguins!

Ty being silly coming out of an egg!

Emmie and the little otter~

It's been a long time....

So....it's been a long time since I have blogged! I'm not really sure what it is.  Maybe it's because I'm not getting any comments or maybe its because it's hard to blog without my whole family around me.
Not having Devin around has been a big adjustment for us all and every day we talk about him and wish that he was here with us.

Life here in Nebraska has been an adjustment for all of us. School and work are going okay for the four of us. Ty and Emmie are doing well. Ty got all A's in all classes and Emmie is getting good scores in her classes also. So, I can't complain about that. It just still does not feel like home to me.  Kentucky felt more like home. We sometimes talk that maybe it wasn't the right time to move home when we did. It was hard to be home for one year and see how it was to be so close to our families and then all of the sudden we had to pick up and move across the country once again. Away from our families again! The kids where just starting to feel like they belonged.  They were having fun.  It was nice to be around everyone. Now we are on our own again. But this time around it's changed. For one Devin isn't here and also things have changed with my family.

No one calls. Not sure why......    


I do have some pictures to catch up on and will plan on posting them in the next few days.  I will try and get better about blogging!

Lincoln News 3~

Okay, so it's been a few weeks since I have posted.  But my life has changed a bit.  As I told you in my last post I'm now working.  And when I say working....I mean working! It's nothing like my last job....that job was a piece of cake. This job is not as easy! I'm on the run most of my 4 hour shift! Running from one end of the kitchen to the other end.  It would be a lot better if I knew what I was doing! But I'm right now.....I'm the newbie!   I don't really like being the newbie.   The person that has to ask a million questions and then also do things the wrong way!  Yes, I will admit I have done things wrong on a few occasions!  Do you want to hear about the full tray of fruit that I dropped?  No....I didn't think so! The ladies that I work with seem very nice so far.

Ty and Emmie are doing good. Ty got his grades so far and he is getting all A's.  He also got moved up in his math class.  He wasn't very happy about it....but when the principal calls me at work and tells me he needs to get moved up then that's what we do.  Emmie loves her clubs! She seems to really like her French club the best.  It's just so nice that she has a few things to do in the afternoon.  Feels kind of funny not to go and get her right after school.  Ty likes his flag football...not that I understand it.  He only has two more games left.  Last week they had to hurry and start...didn't even get to practice because everyone wanted to hurry and get home to watch Husker football! It's crazy around here. Everyone in red on game day.  But it is neat that they have that here.  We are going to watch Husker softball on Sunday.  Looking forward to seeing a good softball game.

I'm getting ready to travel home next week.  Looking forward to Leah and Andy's wedding and also looking forward to seeing Devin!  Feels like it's been forever since I have seen him.  Hope he is just as excited to see me as I'm to see him!

Lincoln News~

As of Monday I will no longer be a stay at home Mom!  I will be starting my job! 

I got the call last week that everything went through.  I passed my pre-screening and my background check and I had my orientation yesterday! So, I'm ready to go! I will be working at a middle school not far from the house...so that's great.  The kitchen manager should be calling me to fill me in on the details, hopefully tomorrow.  I will let you know how everything goes.....if you are interested...that is!

Ty started flag football and his first game is on Saturday.  He is a little nervous about it...not that he says so...but I can just tell.  I will be taking pictures and will be sure to post them later this weekend. The weather will be a lot cooler on Saturday so that is a plus!  We are all looking forward to a little cooler weather. 

Emmie joined two clubs and they started this week.  Her first one is Craft out Loud and her other one is French club.  She really seemed to enjoy both of them.  She will be staying after school every day but Tuesday.  Feels kind of strange not to pick her right up at 2:54.  But I'm hoping that she will meet some friends and just get out of the house a little bit.  She also got signed up for girl scouts.  We will not hear from them until around the middle of October.  The only bad thing about that is those girl scout cookies!!!  Boy...do I love those. 

On a different subject I'm trying a new recipe tonight....Turkey meatloaf.  It looked kind of good and it's a little lower fat then the other.  Hopefully it will be good.  I will let you know. 

:)

Discovery~

About a week ago I discovered it......PINTEREST!

I knew about it and had seen it before...but I had yet to explore it myself!  Oh my gosh!  I could spend all day on it and still not see everything!

I see crafts I want to do and recipes that I want to make!

But most of all I see things that my Mom would have loved!  She would have loved this site!  She could have done many of these home ideas and in fact she has done some of them. I look and I look and all I think about is her and I see her sitting and looking at all this stuff and thinking about what she could be making.  She could find all these items to make the stuff that I see at garage sales or thrift stores...you name it and she could find it.

I wish that I had more of her in me.  More of her ability to see something out of nothing and be able to create it!

She has been on my mind these last few weeks.  I have been needing her and needing to talk to her.  The need just never goes away.  So many things I want to ask her .....so many things I need to tell her.

I miss her~   :(

I think I got a job~

Well, I got the call yesterday afternoon......Looks like I got a job!  I can't really say so for sure yet...but the offer was made and I accepted!  So, very happy about it.

Now I have to pass the pre-screening which I did today.  I thought it was going to be easy as pie.  Just lift a 50 pound box...you know show then how strong I'm and then be done.  Well, was I ever wrong.  I did lift a 50 pound box and I did carry this said 50 pound box across the room and back.  I also had to push this 50 pound box across the room and then pull it back again!!

Okay.....thought I was done..................Nope....not done!

Now I lift this empty box up and down 10 times.....it isn't light as a feather or stiff as a board!  Not at all!  Breathing just a little heavy right about now.  Just a little bit out of shape here! All done? Nope! Not yet! Now I have to lift said box once again up and over my head two times.....what?  Try and ask her again to explain herself so I can get a little breather in.  Okay did it..... I think!  My mind was a little off at this point.  

Done?   Nope...not yet!  Now I have to go and walk half a mile on treadmill! I know half a mile isn't much but after doing all that heavy lifting...which I'm far from used to, with no break......UGH!!!  I can do it....right?

I did it!

Got right off treadmill and that's it.Out the door you go.  No you pass or you fail! 

Hmmm....I guess I'll give it a few days and see if I get another call telling me what to do from here!  I'll keep you all posted! Right now I'm just resting after my stressful day.  Got my feet up! LOL!!  In my dreams!

Lincoln News~

Hey!

I'm not really sure if I have any readers.....but what the heck...I will still do some postings and let you know how it's going here in Lincoln.

Well, today I had an interview for a job!  It's with the school system and I really hope that I get it.  It's just so boring sitting around the house all day!  It's not like I can go out and do anything fun like shopping.  I like to work.  It makes me feel like I'm doing something for me and my family.  Gets me off  the computer...not that I seem to be spending lots of time on here either.  But hopefully I will hear something soon.  Keep your fingers crossed for me! :)


Ty and Emmie seem to be enjoying school so far.  They both said they made some friends on the first day...so that was a relief. I just wish they had some friends to play with that lived close by.  I have yet to see any kids their ages on our street.  I'm sure in a few weeks they will have more friends and maybe get invited over to someones house or they might want to invites someone over here.

I do have to admit to you that I'm missing Devin.  It just seems like a little piece of our family isn't here. But the thing that really hurts me is that he isn't missing me.  He is having the time of his life!  I talk to him every day and I know that I will have to start just having him call me every other day and then go down from there.  But it's hard not talking to him and seeing how he is.  I'm used to seeing him every day and  I will see him in September for a few days and then I'm not sure when I will see him next and that's okay with him.  I guess you could say now I know how my Mom felt. :(

First day of school~

 Today was the first day of school.  Seems like the summer went by very fast.  But the kids were more then ready to get back to school and meet some new friends and just get back into the swing of things.  It's been a hard summer for all of us.  Just getting used to a new city again after a long move.  Moves are hard on everyone and my kids always seem to adjust to them.  I hope that we don't have to do this to them anytime soon.


Ty started 7th grade....middle school.  He's in the middle right now.  It's a 6th through 8th grade school.  He said he had a pretty good day.  He did meet some friends and he said his favorite class so far was English.  He liked his teacher a lot.  I was very worried about his whole walking thing.  It's a very busy road and he has a bit of a walk.  It will take him about 15 minutes with the lights and traffic.  Nothing like we are used to.  I'm not happy at all.

 Emmie started 3rd grade.  Her school is really nice and I like her teacher so far.  We got to meet all the 3rd grade teachers when we went and got her all signed up.  She got the one she wanted!  So, that was good.  She met two friends today.  One was a girl and one a boy.  She doesn't remember the names...but as long as she made a couple of friends that is really good.  She also has to walk to school!  For her it's about a 10 minute walk.  Hopefully I will be able to get  a job where I can take her and pick her up.  I do NOT want her walking home by herself!  Ty could come and pick her up, but he gets out a few minutes after her and he would be about 10 or so minutes late picking her up.  UGH!!!  What to do! 

 They are both growing up fast and before I know it they will be gone off doing their own thing. :(

Love these photos..have one from every year.

Emmie in front of her school

Emmie waiting in line before school.

Emmie's teacher

Our NOT so Lovely House!

 Well, here it is.....our house.  It's a lot smaller then our house that we had in Lacey...but I guess when you are doing everything over the phone you can't really expect a lot. 

 We had a lot more space in our front room in Lacey and now we don't have much at all.  The front room kind of goes into the dinning area. It's an older home....back to the hardwood floors...which I don't mind. 

 Here is the dinning area.  Kind of a sad looking table now with only 4 chairs!  :(  Don't like the looks of it at all now.







The Kitchen is VERY ugly!  I just don't even want to talk about it.  Just know that I didn't even want to put the picture up...but I did...and it was for you!

Our very UGLY kitchen!

Another view of the front room.

I got my craft area back.  That's one of the things that I like about this house.  I can set it up down in the basement and when I get a chance I will try and start back up again.

Changes~

 In June I watched my son Devin walk across the stage and receive his high school diploma. It was an emotional night for me and many others.  It was a long year of not knowing if it was going to happen with our move to Washington.  But in the end it happened and I couldn't have been more thrilled and happy for him.  He deserved this and had worked very hard to make it all happen. 

 But as I sit here today I think back on that moment. It brings tears to my eyes. So, many things have changed since then.  Devin has decided that he wants to stay in Vancouver.  I know he is 19 and able to make choices on his own.....but when he told me what he had decided it was like a bomb went off.  My whole world has been turned upside down.  If I would have been more prepared for it I might have been able to handle this better...but as it is...I'm having a really hard time with this and I'm really not sure that anyone can really understand it but me.  It's like he was just taken away. No warning at all.  We were expecting for him to be here with us in a few weeks and now our life has changed. From big things all the way down to the little things. I go to set the table grabbing 5 plates and then remember that from now on it will only be 4 plates.  I sit at the table for dinner and I remember when it was all of us and now its just us 4.  It just feels wrong and different.  I walk by the room that we fixed up for him and I can't look inside....it just hurts too much.  

Devin and Ty

Emmie and Devin

 I think about all the things that I won't have with him.  In all the years I have never...not once been apart on his birthday.  Do you know what that does to a Mom?  All those little things that no one is thinking about, but I'm. 

Wahoo Parade~

 Last night we got to walk in a parade!  Hmmm....at first I was a little bit unsure about this whole thing.  Walk in a parade?  ME!  Never done that...never thought I would do that.  Tim...sure he would do that and would love it and did love it.  But we did it and it was kind of fun.  We got to dress is these pink shirts for his new work.  The only one not real excited about the pink shirts was the one down below.....Ty.  He sure doesn't look very excited about this whole wearing pink shirts thing and looking just like the everyone else thing. 

Real men can wear pink!

Pretty darn cute.

Handing out some paper pads.

 After the parade we walked down to the fair.  Nothing like the Clark County Fair. The kids went on a few ride and we walked around and saw some animals.  Something a little different.

I even had Ty take a picture of Tim and I!

Tim and Emmie on roller coaster.

Ty loving this ride! He went on it twice!

Emmie's first time on the Ferris Wheel...loved it!

The Sunken Garden~

 Isn't this pretty?  This is right down the road from us.  It's called The Sunken Garden.  It's called that because you walk down into it.  Very pretty....my pictures do not do it justice!  The colors were so pretty and vivid. With all this heat I'm kind of amazed that they can keep it looking so good.

 I had to get a good picture with Emmie and Ty in front of the flowers .

 This was all of them in front of the little waterfall that comes down the walkway.  Again, my picture just can't do this garden any justice.

 Ty decided he wanted to go for a little bike ride after looking at the garden!

 Then Emmie had to go also! 

One last picture of the garden from the back end.  They even had little peppers in the garden!  Too cute. I really loved the pond with these huge fish in them!  I could have watched them for a long time...if it wasn't so hot!

3 weeks in~

Well, It's almost been three weeks since we left Washington.  Doesn't seem like it's been that long.  But I guess time does go by fast....not that I'm having fun!  

We have been busy getting things done around here.  Last week we got the kids all signed up for school.  They seemed super nice and very happy to have two new kids start in their school system.

 Tim hasn't been working all that much until this weekend.  Which is really good for him to get started.  He needed to go out and do something.  He doesn't like to sit around much.  He has been doing that for awhile now and I think he just needed to go out and work!

I have applied for a couple of jobs in the school district.  They don't have a lot of openings.  But when we talked to the ladies at Emmie's school they were very excited about it and said that they always need subs. I would rather have a job to go to every day.  I know asking a lot.  I guess if I don't get on there I can look else where. 

House is still looking a little ragged.....but it's hard to make this house look anything but ragged! Still have unpacking to do...not much...but I have lost a few items and I just can't seem to find them.  You know the very important items.......like my camera cord so I can download pictures.  I have not had that since Kentucky.  Need to find it!  I would post pictures of this ragged house for you if I could find that dang cord!

Okay....so lets talk about the weather!  It's HOT! Very hot!  I mean the coolest day we have had here was 88 and that was a day after a little rain storm we had here.  They say that it's usually not this warm...okay....so when does it cool down?  I mean we had this kind of heat in Arkansas, but that was a while ago.  Kentucky was in the 90's sometimes.  But we hardley ever had in in the low 100's.  So, Im ready for a little bit cooler weather....but not the snow! Going to be in the high 90's the rest of the week with one day in the low 100's! UGH!!!  Can't enjoy the outside on those days!  So, it's inside we stay! Did I happen to mention that our cars do NOT have AC in them?  Well, they don't!  Double UGH!!!!  The other day when coming into the house I got burnt by the screen door....I might have said a few cuss words.  I mean who gets burnt by the screen door?  I guess you do here in the great state of Nebraska!

So, did I give you enough information?  Most likly I gave you a little too much information!!  But it's either that or go outside and get burnt up by that thing in the sky! :)

Nebraska~

Nebraska!  That's where we are.  We only got one year in Washington.  One year back in our home state.  One year back with our families...well when we could see them.  It felt like that year went by way too fast for me.  If I would have known that's all I was going to get I think that I might have done things a little bit differently.

 But to tell you the truth...last year was hard.  We couldn't afford to go down to Vancouver every weekend....we couldn't afford to go down every month!  We were not only paying the rent on the house we were living in we were also paying for our house in Kentucky.  Paying for two houses is not easy.  So, at times it kind of felt like I might as well have been in Kentucky!

The move here wasn't easy.  I hated to take my kids not only away from family again, but also away from the friends they had made and also from another school.  As a parent that is a hard thing to do.  To look in their face and have to tell them that they will have to do it all over again and to see the sadness in their eyes.  To know that they will not get to see their cousins again for a long time...when I have loved watching them play together and knowing what I had with my cousins and still do.  Not to be able to to all the wonderful family celebrations that we have been able to do this year.  I will miss that and I know that they will also.